I Love To Help, But You Are Draining Me!

By Jen Regan | Overcoming Obstacles

Feb 28

We all have certain people in our lives that we desire to please. It might be our boss, it might be a parent, it can even be our significant other. Taking care of others is a natural part of what we do and who we are, but there is one area we need to watch out for. When we want to please someone, who might not always be the easiest to please, two thing can fall out of balance without us even realizing it, our time and energy.

I consider myself a hard worker, and for that I am proud. I have also seen, as I reflect back on the jobs I have held,  that I always want to keep my boss happy. I think that is a good quality as well, but I have also found it is a fine line to walk. My desire to keep my boss happy can consume a lot of my time and energy, pulling it from other important areas of my life. I have had great bosses that I loved to work for, but because I wanted to please them, I put in way too many hours. I have had bosses that were micromanagers and caused me tremendous amounts of stress. I did not enjoy working for them, but nonetheless, I gave extra time and energy to keep them happy. It was during these times when other important areas in my life got the short end of the stick. I never want to suggest we neglect our work, I simply want other important areas of our lives to get the time and energy they deserve. Balance.

The topic of life balance comes up frequently in my conversations and interactions with amazing women and I am challenged with it continually too. I think there are a number of reasons why we can fall out of balance and spend too much time on one area of our life. If you feel as though you are struggling to keep the activities of your life balanced, here are some good questions to ask yourself:

  • Is there someone in my life who I am putting extra time and energy toward in the attempt to keep them happy?
  • Should they receive the amount of time and energy they are getting?
  • Are my attempts to keep this person happy draining me of energy?
  • Are my attempts to keep this person happy taking up a lot of my time?
  • What other beneficial area of my life could use more time and energy?
  • What small steps can you start to take to give less time and energy to people I am trying to keep happy?
  • What small steps can I take to spend more time in other important areas of my life?

As women, one of our amazing qualities is to help others, but because it is so important to us, it is an areas that can easily get out of balance. There are many “good” things we can spend our time and energy on. Let’s focus on the BEST things and go after them with all of our hearts!


If today’s blog post helped you ask some good hard questions, and you know a friend who could benefit from reading it as well. Please pass it on! We are in this together!

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